I like the comraderie in this. Some of the phrasings were excellent too, like this one: "His partner indulged in the lazy snuffling that passed for laughter." How many times have I tried to describe that? It's not quite a laugh, not quite a snigger...
I did get a bit confused trying to keep up with who was who early on, but I think that would not be the case if this were part of a longer story. I also might be a little dense for wanting things spelled out more at the end, but that too might clear itself up if this fed right into the Nape scene.
I'm impressed by the originality of this cast of characters. They feel like a interesting bunch and they were entertaining to read about. The dialog was very natural. I especially liked the reflexes jab and the mother-in-law quip.
Were you, by chance, making fun of Starbucks? (Not a fan myself.)
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carisma_sensei
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Date: 25 May 2009 08:19 pm (UTC)I did get a bit confused trying to keep up with who was who early on, but I think that would not be the case if this were part of a longer story. I also might be a little dense for wanting things spelled out more at the end, but that too might clear itself up if this fed right into the Nape scene.
I'm impressed by the originality of this cast of characters. They feel like a interesting bunch and they were entertaining to read about. The dialog was very natural. I especially liked the reflexes jab and the mother-in-law quip.
Were you, by chance, making fun of Starbucks? (Not a fan myself.)