Thanks! I couldn't tell you where that came from; some days when I write it's like taking dictation from the Muse; she speaks, I tap away in Word.
Yes, going back to it some time later, I saw how it would be confusing so I do take your point, and, to my eye, the edit made things clearer, and longer, but why that surprises me, I have *no* idea! This scene is part of Nape's past but also introduces a character who will cross paths with Mike again. (Dun dun duh! lol) That scene will be Nape's POV.
It could have been Starbucks, or Costa, or another clone. They're all over the nearest main city, rather like a rash. :/ I patronise small independants wherever possible.
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carisma_sensei
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Date: 1 Jun 2009 09:09 am (UTC)Yes, going back to it some time later, I saw how it would be confusing so I do take your point, and, to my eye, the edit made things clearer, and longer, but why that surprises me, I have *no* idea! This scene is part of Nape's past but also introduces a character who will cross paths with Mike again. (Dun dun duh! lol) That scene will be Nape's POV.
It could have been Starbucks, or Costa, or another clone. They're all over the nearest main city, rather like a rash. :/ I patronise small independants wherever possible.